are you in good hands? it makes a big stinkin’ difference.
I was talking with one of the badass-est leaders and org builders I know this week. We were trading stories about jobs that were exceptionally demanding but somehow never got us down. And then of jobs that were objectively easier than the ones in the first category, but somehow felt like the hardest things we’d ever done.
This gave rise to the “in good hands” theory. For both of us, when we felt like we were in good hands, when we knew a leader we trusted was somewhere out there backstopping us, we could demonstrate our greatest resilience. Teams, systems, agreements could collapse around us and we’d be ready for more. In fact, those serial collapses only made us stronger. We were anti-fragile, somehow.
By contrast, when we found ourselves in dubious hands, we became brittle. Little nicks bled and stung for a long time. Zest for the fight gave way to self-doubt and Sunday Scaries and much disreputable groaning. We didn’t show up as our best selves.
When I reflected on the times I thought I was in good hands, I realized I drew that sense from a very narrow set of facts:
The leader, even if a distant board member, would put success of the team or the effort ahead of her own success (perhaps even ahead of her own well-being, as ill-advised as that might be).
The leader had clear, high standards for excellence and didn’t give me a pass when I wasn’t measuring up.
A list of things I like (even believe in) that are notably not on this list of “good hands” requirements: Constant check-ins, deep expertise in my work, abundant compensation, heart to heart conversations, inspiring stories.
I honestly don’t know what to make of this yet. It does make me want to look at my own work now, today, and ask - am I meeting the Good Hands Criteria for my own people? Am I doing it in such a blindingly obvious way that the criteria would still hold even if I had to disappear for a real stretch?
This feels like a good place for me to put effort. Maybe also for you, especially if you’re a leader who sees a time coming when you can’t, for whatever, be energetically hands on.
-Eric
